嗨,我的男人 Hi, My Man: Chapter 1.1

Tada! I present to you a new book translation:

Title: 嗨,我的男人 – Hi, My Man

Author: 漫漫红糖水 – Man Man Hong Tang Shui

I’m in the mood to translate something lighthearted, in between translating all the drama that’s happening over at Season. The best thing about this novel is that the original author had already split the chapters into multiple sections, so that each part is really short. I don’t really know anything about the storyline except that it’s supposed to be a hilarious and easy read, with minimal angst.

I already love the relationship between the main girl and her father. It’s cute that she calls her father “old man” LOL. That’s how my mom and older sis call my dad.

Chapter 1: The Single Me (1)

When I first started university, my old man had repeatedly warned: Must set studying as the main priority. He didn’t wanted, didn’t allowed, and didn’t permitted me to date. I’ve always thought my old man had time traveled from the Qing Dynasty. His ideologies are as hard as calcium carbonate.

As a result, his words became true. I’m almost graduating from university and I still haven’t had my first love.

Sometimes, when I watch those Taiwanese variety shows, I could feel my heart go cold. I’m already 21. Old virgins like myself who also never dated before, if placed in Taiwan, I’ll be a first class elder monster.

Actually, I’m not to be blamed. Really.

During year one, I only thought about studying.

During second year, all hopes of getting scholarships were  lost, so I focused on playing.

When I came to my senses in year three, I realized that majority of the male students near me already had a partner. As for the rest, they’re the leftover from the waves. That look, that standard…..

We’re all classmates, I can’t really say it too harshly now can I? Point is, that’s how it was.

In fourth year, in regards to relationship, I felt disinterested. It might be because I’d already passed my pubescent stage. In addition, there was the graduate exam, who still have the mind to think about this?

All in all, I‘ve been heading in the direction of the leftover woman.

.

The funny part is, the one who got anxious first was my old man.

In the earlier years when he had repeatedly warned me to not be in a relationship, I had already thought: Since you forbade me to date now, I will forever not date. After a few years, I’m afraid you’ll be the one begging me to start dating.

That’s why when he said he wanted to introduce someone to me, I thought of this and couldn’t helped finding it humorous. After laughing, I felt it was also a little sad. My old man actually arranged a blind date for me…..

The first person I went on a blind date with was one of my father’s colleague’s relative’s son, who was also a research student.

That day after watching a movie, we were over.

Don’t need to discuss anything else, just on the way to the movie, he went into a supermarket to buy two bottles of coke. At the time, I had thought, not bad, very considerate.

Who knew that when he came out, he unscrewed a bottle, looked up and took a big gulp before twisting the cap back on. He didn’t perform any other actions.

I pointed at the bottle that wasn’t open and asked. That, this bottle…..

He said: Oh, this bottle is for me to drink on the way there. That bottle is for me to drink when I return.

Immediately I was embarrassed*

I didn’t say anything, but I had hoped that in this lifetime, I’ll never have to meet his Lordship again.

After returning, the old man stopped for a period of time. When school was about to resume, he appeared as if he couldn’t bear with it again, and brought up my uncle’s neighbour.

Right when he finished talking, my mother rushed out with a fish gutting kitchen knife and roared: What are you doing? Your daughter is still young. What are you panicking about? Ah?! Ah?!!

The old man seemed to have been subdued. He stopped talking and fiercely smoked a cigarette.

My mother continued to swing her kitchen knife: Didn’t want you to smoke, and yet, you continue to smoke. Your health is not good, and there’s no money at home. Smoke, smoke, smoke! Who knew how many houses you’ve already smoked away!

Then, she continued to roar a few more times along those line before returning to the kitchen.

My old man said in a quiet voice, your mother’s menopause is here.

I think, marriage after dating, if a woman could have my mother’s status in the family, she is very impressive.

 

————-

* 囧 – This word can be used as an emoticon. It looks like a face with a downcast eyes.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *